College

College… it seems easy now… too easy. The only
complications i have are Financial Aid and not wanting to be here. The not
wanting to be here is partly because of being suck at my parents’ house…
living there sucks all my energy to try to be normal. I end up going to my bed
and crying because of one of many events going through my mind – conversations
with my mother, her trying to make me look at things positively and telling me
to just sit down and read a self-help book. (Now that’s like sitting down and
saying you’re doing something but in reality, you’re not!) she doesn’t
understand how hard i work or how many things i do to just make a small amount
of progress either with my mood or with furthering my education or making my
health condition just a little bit tolerable.

Change

3rd week at Seminole State College, i know I’m here. Never
thought i would be. I bet right now if everything went as planned (the first
plan in November 2010) i would be in my dorm at Johnson and Wales University on
the Charlotte campus, visiting Tony every weekend at High Point University
working at the Cheesecake Factory in Charlotte, NC. Or maybe doing the second
plan. Living in Flamingo Hall as an RA in the North Miami campus, married to
Tony Mark. And after i graduate i would live with him establishing my own restaurant.

That One and Only Boy

I guess every teenager goes through this once in his or her life. if it hasnt than i feel sad and also glad for them. because for one they are missing out on that undescribable feeling that makes them feel they had a purpose to be in this world just to find that one person. and im glad for them because all good things, either feelings or people, come to an end. this is my Boy.. my one and only Boy

Explain bad moods PLEASE

We all have bad days right? And maybe bad weeks. Bad months,

bad year’s maybe.

You all probably know my story (some don’t care) but it

helps me copping writing it down. But my story in the past 2 years went from

fantastic to okay to shit to shit being thrown in the fan and it getting into

my mouth. Yea gross. That’s the summary.

High School Identity

Well what can i really say? Looking back i wonder what

people thought of me as they would see me walk past them or maybe trying to

figure out my name when referring me to somebody. My freshman sophomore and

junior year… i guess i was “your that girl who hangs out with Bridgette”

or “your that chef club girl” or even “that girl who was very

comfortable with herself” (i wore blue jeans and t-shirts almost every day).

Looking Back

I look back at all the picture that has been taken of me and i see that same smile. that showing all my teeth and most of my gumskind of smile that people recognize is mine since middle school when i got my embarassing braces. having the braces, man was that i nightmare, it didnt feel right smiling without showing teeth. the medal against my lips, it wasnt the most pleasurable feeling in the world. and thats when it started. that overbaring smile that seems to draw people in, that seems to make people comfortable with me, that seemed to draw Anthony in my life who made me the happiest person alive.

Artistic Darkness

Expression on paper, freedom for some people

But that freedom only goes so far

Everyone has different perspective

What might be dark and soulless

Some may see a sign of impending hope

Dark, empty, nothingness

Is different for all and expressed different ways

Writing, drawing, and expression

What’s your way?

—this is from creative writing activity– i think i did a good job so now its up 🙂

Hello world! Let’s get to know each other

okay so this is me in a nut shell.
a year ago i thought i had everything planned.. the college i was going to, what career i wanted, the man i love and would mostly likely want to spend the rest of my life with. i wasnt a big fan of being with my family but what teenager is? i went to college. single.. no family.. no job.. no friends.. i was alone. well things started getting better.. i made friends. i loved my classes. i got a job at this beautiful resturant. and i was getting back together with my boyfriend. i was happy. then things got bad. i passed out. i havent realized it but i wasnt eating. or barly eating. i had two jobs. and i have school 6 hours a day 4 days a week.